Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
