I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
