Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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