turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
