You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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