actually, I'm a sock model
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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