There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
