I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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