I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
