For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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