Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
