Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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