Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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