If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
