Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
