i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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