i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
