i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize