I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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