D3 body, D1 cock
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
