But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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