At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
