searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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