Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
