she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
