what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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