Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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