So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
