I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
