I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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