Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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