i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I've blown a few things in my day
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
