i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
