Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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