I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
