I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I need moral support for this bender
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
