areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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