If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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