people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
We smell like vodka and hangover
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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