I want to have your abortion
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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