I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
