Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
