My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
