hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize