found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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