Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
