gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
