All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!