So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
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It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?