you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
