You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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