it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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