I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
