I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
