they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
