Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
North Korea, Best Korea!
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Fuck appropriateness.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
