okay pat passed out under dana's car
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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