i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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