And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
