Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
