I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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