At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
